Whether we want to admit it or not, even for those who are adamant in their denial of watching the tabloid reports, were all affected by the news of celebrity break-ups. The latest rounds to end the season in a not so bright fashion are: Nichole Richie and Adam Goldstein; Valerie Bertinelli and Eddie Van Halen; Christina Applegate and Johnathan Schaech. With rumors flying about Britney Spears and Kevin Federlines break-up on the horizon; millions of pages dedicated to the looming divorce of Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson. Wheres the hope for us? How can we, as mere mortals, believe in ever lasting love? In the back of our minds we think that these celebrities have everything any couple could possibly need to enjoy the happiest ever after life imagined. I cant tell you how many times I hear people say, If only we had more money; A bigger house; If I were better looking; If I lost more weight; My life would be perfect; Our relationship wouldnt have so much stress; I would be happy. We look at the famous and say, They are the beautiful people. They travel the world. Have beautiful mansions and lots of money. They have an army of people waiting to do their every bidding: publicists, managers, accountants, housekeepers and chiefs. If only I were in their shoes. What a great example and lesson to all of us not so fortunate people who arent blessed with their lives and the kind of money they posses; that money doesnt make a relationship happy. Time, effort and determination are what make a relationship thrive. Im not implying they dont put the time and effort into their relationships, only that all the things we say, If only we had wont make our relationships last longer or be happier than theirs were. Key factors to a lasting relationship are laughter, a sense of humor about life as well as a lot of hard work. These three things have always been a common thread for every successful and happy relationship I have interviewed over the years. Every one of them say the same thing: They work hard; dont go to bed angry, resolving issues right away; and they laugh with each other. A step that can help you regain the spark in your love life is something I call Soul Gazing. Its a simple technique of gazing into your partners eyes. I usually recommend 15 minutes, but in the beginning, 2-3 is fine. No talking, no looking away. I have seen this technique strengthen relationships that were already strong and help those relationships that were on the brink of disaster. Try it. If you want to have the love you deserve, remember my simple rule: Love is a gift, its not a right. Love is a decision, its not a feeling. Make the decision to make your relationship right, so you too can have the lasting and deep love you deserve. Copyright 2006 Jaci Rae The Rae of Hope TM |
