We have all heard of and know the Golden Rule:

"Do unto others as you would like others to do unto you."

Or something like that.

The Golden Rule does not work in love relationships

The trouble is that the Golden Rule does not work in love relationships.

I realize this may not make sense at first glance. So let's think it through.

Each person has their own preferred way in which to receive love. Some people like to see it, some like to hear it, some like to feel it.

It's human nature to give love in the way we would most like to receive it. Sounds fine, doesn't it?

The problem is that rarely do two people get together that have the same preferred love language.

So if I like to receive love by hearing it, then if I follow the Golden Rule, I will give love with words. But what if my partner receives love best by seeing it?

I could say I love you all day long and my partner would be thinking this is nice, but what have you done for me lately?

Discovering the Platinum Rule

So what do we do?

The Platinum Rule states that we should do unto other as they would like to be done unto.

So if I am in a relationship with a person whose love language is seeing it, then I need to show her I love her through the things I do. At the same time, if my love language is hearing it, then she would need to show me love with words.

Give the Platinum Rule a try in your relationship, and see if communication and closeness improve.