Q. I recently went to an anger-management seminar at my office. Most of it was about the theory of anger and where it comes from, without really anything much about what to do about anger. Can you just give me a quick list of things to do beside get angry?

A. Sure can. Here is a short list of what you can do instead of getting angry. This gives you choices, and choices are what you need.

• Pause and ask "is this really worth getting angry about?"

• Remember that anger is a normal human emotion. Feeling angry is not the problem, it's what we do with our anger that makes the difference.

• What you do with your anger is always a choice, which means you can gain control of it and make better choices.

• Find someone to talk it out with. What we don't talk about, we act out.

• Anger is a secondary emotion, which means we feel something else before the anger. The something else is usually frustration, hurt or fear. Deal with what you are really feeling, and you cut off or bypass the anger.

• Exercise discharging the energy that comes with anger can defuse and drain the anger right out of you.

• Count to 10. When necessary, keep counting.